Four-Sides Communication Model

The four-sides communication model, or communication square, was introduced in 1981 by German psychologist Friedemann Schulz von Thun. This model, also known as the four-ears model, describes the intricate layers inherent in human expression and provides insight into the multifaceted structure of verbal communication. Combined with our knowledge of Emotional Intelligence (EI) we created a new interpretation of a classic communication model. Our guide can help you communicate more effectively by emphasizing and reflecting the importance of EI in communication.

Friedemann Schulz von Thun, German Psychologist

„How can we lead from connection, not just status?

Revisiting the Four Sides Communication Model from the perspective of Emotional Intelligence can provide us with answers to this relevant question.

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— Motoki Tonn

Why we need four ears

The Four-Sides Communication Model identifies four facets in communication:

the factual level – focusing on information
the self-revealing level – disclosing aspects of the sender
the relationship level – reflecting emotions and respect
the appeal level – conveying desires or calls to action

Each message carries these four dimensions, and effective communication involves understanding and balancing the elements. The model encourages receivers to engage distinct "ears" to decipher facts, perceive the sender's identity, assess the relationship tone, and discern the underlying appeals within messages.

Self-Revelation

What do I reveal about myself?

Communication goes beyond facts, incorporating elements of self-disclosure. This layer reveals information about the sender, whether intentional or subconscious. Every message becomes a glimpse into the sender's personality. The receiver, utilizing the "Self-Revealing ear," discerns the hidden aspects of the sender's identity embedded within the message.

Tip: When revealing yourself to another person make sure to be selective and precise with the information you are offering. Try to make it simple for your partner to understand you. Consciously manage the personal information you disclose, considering its appropriateness for the nature of your relationship with the recipient. Be aware of unintended self-disclosure, ensuring that the details you reveal are relevant for the conversation.

“How much space do I leave for my partner in a conversation?”

Factual Information

What do I inform about?

Delivering clear and relevant information is crucial in effective communication. The sender, on the factual level, provides data and facts, ensuring the message's truth, relevance, and completeness. The receiver, using the "Factual ear," evaluates the accuracy and importance of the information conveyed. In concise team interactions, this level establishes a foundation of shared understanding.

Tip: Ensure your message is crystal clear and relevant, providing essential information in a way that's easily understood. Check for completeness to make sure all necessary details are included, ensuring your communication meets the criteria of truth, relevance, and thoroughness.

“What information is relevant for my partner to understand me?”

Appeal or Plea

What do I want someone to do?

Communication inherently carries a call to action or a desire for the receiver's thoughts or actions. The appeal level articulates the sender's intentions, seeking to influence the receiver, whether openly or subtly. The "Appeal ear" engages the receiver in questioning, "What should I do, think, or feel now?" This level of communication is evident in requests, advice, or even subtle manipulations, guiding the receiver's response.

Tip: Craft your request with clarity, ensuring that the recipient understands what you want them to do or think. Show consideration for their needs and values, aligning your appeal with their priorities. Be transparent about your expectations, avoiding reliance on subtle cues that might lead to misinterpretation.

“How can formulate my message in a constructive, precise and unmistakable way?”

Relationship

How do we interrelate?

Beyond content, communication reflects the sender's feelings toward the receiver. Through expressions, body language, and tone, the sender conveys emotions, respect, or disinterest. The relationship layer establishes mutual appreciation, influencing how the receiver perceives their interaction. The "Relationship ear" detects sentiments, fostering a connection based on understanding and esteem.

Tip: Mind the tone of your message, as it plays a crucial role in expressing respect, friendliness, or other sentiments toward the recipient. Consider non-verbal cues such as body language and facial expressions, recognizing their impact on how your words are perceived and their influence on the dynamics of your relationship.

“How can I ensure a meaningful connection? How do I feel and sympathize/empathize with them?”

Download our PDF Guide for more reflections and insights

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Emotional Intelligence – Four-Sides Communication Model revisited